Today I had a rough day from the day, because of waking up super early before work so I’m up since 2:30 Am and now it is Almost 7 pm.
I was so tired that on the way I was praying to the Lord; that I hate this life, please end it I can’t take it any more, but when I got home, I saw a short video online about a young homeless man who was so grateful for what he had. And even if he had no worldly things or physical comfort he was doing everything to help people in need, that was when I slept myself and I said Ali you ungrateful shit. God literally saved your life from an impossible situation, now you are able to walk and talk, you still have one eye, you are even able to drive back and forth to work. and you live under a roof. Why are you being so ungrateful? We always get our health and happiness as it is granted, but we don’t know what is going to happen one second later. So let’s love each other and be kind to everyone. Please be to weaker people, they are not acting disabled because they want attention, they are already dealing with their weakness, you don’t add emotional damage to it.
Monday February 2nd 2026
I was able to wake up around 4Am and go to work today, it was freezing and my car heater didn’t want to blow hot air. I’m starting my day really rough today, I was so tired that I didn’t stop to get gas on my way, hopefully I’ll make it back home later when I get off work. If it wasn’t because of my passion for the kids I would have quit this job a long time ago. But I care for them so much I can’t bring myself to quit.
Tuesday February 3rd 2026
Today I’m staying home to rest since I’m overwhelmed from work. It’s kind of risky for me to stay home, because,I start shopping when I’m bored. I started reading the Bible a little and came here to write for you guys. The Bible book I read was about Joseph some of jacob it’s a really interesting story about a kid who was sold by his brother as a slave and how he became the second most powerful person in Egypt just because the Lord blessed him. I love to read bible stories, they are real superhero stories to me.
Wednesday February 5th
I got to hangout with my mom she took me to her friends place, who owns a horse, it was so relaxing, it even made to consider registering for back horse riding classes, I think mentally going to be beneficial to me. I even met a cat who was wondering around her property, if I didn’t mention before, I love cats.
Thursday February 5th
I work a short time on Thursdays, because I have therapy appointments on Thursdays. I left work around 8 am and hung out with my mom before I went to my appointment. Mostly shopping around in women’s clothing stores. Then we ate an “in and out” burger and then took Chicago pizza home for dinner I even have leftovers for tomorrow at work. Anyway as soon we got home I had to take my car and go to my appointment, I love my therapy sessions, because that’s the only time I can say everything without being judged, my therapist knows me pretty well, I’ve been seeing her for almost one year now. She knows about my financial situation and because her office doesn’t accept my insurance, she sees me for free. If you are reading this I’m really grateful for you I’m not saying her name because of privacy courtesy.
Friday February 6th
Today started really chaotic and stressful, I woke up at 3:50 AM and some how though it’s 5:30 so I freaked out oh no I’m late I even left a voicemail for work I’m going to be late, I drove really fast to work and noticed the gate was closed, I looked at my phone and noticed I’m over 2 and half hours early. I was shaking the whole day at work because of that shock. But there is something I like to share here.
“I heard a sentence from an old man at work I thought I would share it here. He told me that:
If something or someone is very beautiful and attractive it doesn’t mean it’s going to be beneficial. So don’t judge things and people with their looks. Sometimes animals are so beautiful but if you touch them they kill you right away, The same thing about people is that someone can be so beautiful or good looking, but the important part is what’s in their heart.”
Saturday February 7th
Today was my off day but also the day for the Bible study group at my church, I love to go there because, not only I learn about God’s words, I also get to hangout with my really nice and caring friends.
Monday February 9th
I got to work at 5:30 Am and all the handicap parking spots are full already. That’s annoying, I had to park far and walk. Recently they put me on standby, because I have too many doctors appointments, I hate being on standby everyday, there’s a lot of waiting and being bored. I’m sorry I’m always whining, I don’t mean to always complain, but unfortunately, life put so much on my shoulders, that is crushing me. But I always forget to be grateful, about what I already have. Unfortunately a lot of people take the thing they have for granted, and not great about it, like health. I was very healthy and fit, but in one second I became disabled. Now I understand, how locky I was, and I wasn’t great full. I said all this, because I’m hoping someone can learn from my story and try to have a happier life.
Tuesday February 18,
I wasn’t feeling very well all day so when I got home I called work and told them I’m gonna take Wednesday off so I can rest but middle of night I was having suicidal thoughts, so I started texting 988 (crisis center hotline, they helped me to pass the night without hurting myself, but I’m really tired I can’t take any more stress and deal with my physical limitations at the same time. I wish my love ones would understand what I’m going true, and wouldn’t add stress to my life about small mistakes I make, such as spending too much money or calling off work for one day, my mom keeps yelling at me and arguing with me, she loves me, but keep thinking I’m faking everything, like he doesn’t see my blind eye and my scars. 😔
my testimony 